So you’re charging ahead of your raid team at half height (but quadruple poundage). What are the top 10 things that make you awesome (fuzzy cuddles can be included)?First off, let's get two things straight:
a) I would never, ever charge ahead of my raid. I respect the healer gap at all times. *cough*
b) I am fierce. You hear me? Fierce! There are no fuzzy cuddles here. Look at this. Does this look cuddly to you?
Don't answer that one.
- Let's start with the most obvious. Five seconds ago I was an emo scowling Night Elf. Now I'm a raging, angry badger bear. And if I wanted to, I could be the black kitty of doom that bleeds you enough to fill the Red Cross' blood banks twice over. Then I could just turn into a bird and poop on your corpse while I'm flying away. I mean, come on. I can shapeshift at will. How is that not spectacularly freakin' awesome?
- I'm not some namby-pamby shield-wielding tank. I don't have a big shiny sword (or two) that I can use to deflect the boss' blows. I take those boss hits full-on in the face. And it fuels my rage. Do you understand that? I am fully 1/10 the size of most of the bosses I stand up to. I don't care if I were some big-shot "Eredar Lord of the Burning Legion". If I hit something that only comes up to my shin in the face and accomplish nothing except pissing it off, I'm going to soil myself.
- Speaking of which, just about everything I do makes me mad. I get hit? Mad. I hit something? Mad. Dodge? Mad. Crit? Mad. Hell, I can just arbitrarily make myself mad at a moment's notice for no raisin! I make Kratos look like a Boulderite on 4/20!
- That Saurfang guy? Yeah. I've tanked him.
- I'm the fastest damn thing on four legs you've ever seen. Cats? Cheetahs? Pfft. Whatever. I am a big, heavy, densely-packed brick shithouse of Rage. But I can still Dodge fully half of everything that's swung in my direction. Honestly, dude. You tried to punch a bear and he dodged it. Fail.
- Not only can I dance my some-odd-hundred pound frame like a butterfly, but when I lash out with these big ol' clawed sledgehammers I call paws, I can hit everything within 8 yards of me. Even things behind me. *Swipe!* It's like a whirling dervish of death. Bet you didn't even see it, either. Here, I'll do it again. Make sure you don't blink or you'll miss it. *Swipe!*
- I can make mobs so mad at me that even though there's 9 (or 24) other people in the room whittling their life away, they can think of nothing more than trying to beat me into a pulp. I mean, come on! There's a rogue turning your calf into poisoned hamburger, a mage spraying ice-knives in your face, a warlock turning your soul into personal pocket-crystals, a hunter knocking arrows into your thick skull while her wolf uses your Achilles' Tendon for dental floss, a paladin endlessly judging you like a mother-in-law from Blackrock Depths, and I'm your biggest concern? Priorities, man!
- Nalorakk may have been the bigger bear, but I'm the one still standing. That's right! What now, Troll god? Huh? WHAT!?
- That staff I use while tanking? (The one that must disappear off into the Twisting Nether or Emerald Dream when I'm shifted?) It's where every bad dream you've ever had comes from. That's right. I wield that thing. And I pried it from the corpse of a dude who had a giant, poison-filled needle for a hand and a GI tract on permanent loop.
- I can roar with such ferocity that all the mobs all around me lose composure for the next 30 seconds. I bet they wet themselves, too. I mean, I would. You know...if I wasn't so awesome.